A Show of Hands Read online

  A Show of Hands

  Winston Crisp Mystery #1

  By

  David Crossman

  Olaf Ingraham leaned into the light. “I’d like to’ve seen the look on Bergie’s face when he started cuttin’ that fish hole and seen her lookin’ up at him.” Olaf did his impersonation of a young woman frozen in ice and laughed his stupid laugh.

  “They got Gammidge over from Rockland. He’s up at the funeral parlor now, lookin’ at her,” said Stuffy Hutchin. In long years of practice, ss and cs had worn a path around Stuffy’s four teeth. That’s why they called him Sylvester. But his real nickname was Stuffy. He slurped the foam off his beer and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Fifteen for two.”

  “Blast it, Syl’! Where’d you get that five? Every time I got tens, you got fives.” Wendell played a jack. “Twenty-five.”

  “And every time you got eights, he’s got sevens,” said Harry, and sipped his Coke. For most of his seventy-odd years, Harry had only rarely been without a six-ounce Coke in the thick green bottle, and he sipped after every sentence—softly for a period, loudly for an exclamation. He wasn’t the kind of person to ask questions, so he hadn’t developed an interrogatory sip.

  Olaf and Bill, cut in half by light and shadow, floated headless in the cigarette smoke behind Stuffy, studying his cards, tossing nods and winks through the shadows of the poolroom.

  Stuffy’s bottom lip curled over his gums and played a perpetual game of push tag with his tongue. “Thirty-one for two,” he said, dropping a six of clubs on the cribbage board.

  “Fours, fives, and sixes,” Wendell exclaimed. He rose partly out of his chair and slammed down the cards in disgust. “I shoulda known.”

  “Should have,” said Stuffy. “I got fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, and three is nine.” He jumped his peg gingerly down the board. “Puts me out with a hole to spare.”

  Harry smiled. “Nossir, you can’t beat luck like that.”

  “Skill,” said Stuffy. “Pay up, Wen’.”

  “If I’d ’a’ had first count . . .”

  Stuffy sat back and crammed the overflow of his belly into his pants. “If wishes was horses,” he said philosophically, “we’d be up to our necks in fertilizer. That’s three dollars, I believe.”

  “Play me again.”

  “Nope.”

  “One more. Double or nothin’.”

  “Nope.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want to play no more. No competition. Besides”—he burped—“that was double or nothin’.”

  Wendell stood up the rest of the way. “That wasn’t neither.”

  “Was so.”

  “Was so,” repeated Harry with an authoritative pull at the visor of his plaid wool cap.

  Either Olaf or Bill, floating in clouds of smoke like Zeus, said “was so” from the shadows. That made it so, whether it was or not. Wendell reluctantly dug out his old leather change purse and paid up in quarters, dimes, and nickels. The others watched in silence as he counted out. A glimpse at the inside of Wendell Slocum’s purse was a rare thing, like a solar eclipse or Halley’s comet, demanding some measure of reverence.

  “She musta fell in and banged her head,” said Stuffy, counting the coins with his eyes. “Drowned.”

  “You’ll have to take the last ten cents in pennies,” said Wendell. He dumped a little pile of pennies into his palm and resumed counting, by ones.

  “Could have,” said Harry. “You shouldn’t go walkin’ ’round them quarries if you don’t know what you’re doin’. Lotta loose rock up there.”

  “Yup,” said Olaf. “Loose rock all over the place.”

  “Some dangerous,” said Bill.

  Stuffy waited patiently while the last few coins fell into his hand. “Musta froze over that same night.”

  Waymond Webber was quietly rolling balls on the billiard table. Nobody cared enough about Waymond to give him a real nickname. Some called him Oozie, but it was more adjective than noun. “She didn’t have no clothes on,” Waymond said. He was the kind of person who would wait all night to say something like that.

  “Leeman Russell was up there when they chipped her out,” said Harry. “Fresh as a mornin’ in Paris, he said she was, froze like that. Doc Pagitt put her in one’ve them bags like you seen ’em do on TV. A clear one, like Phyllis Clayton puts the dry cleanin’ in, only thicker. You could see right through it.”

  “She didn’t have nothin’ on, did she?” said Waymond. Nobody paid any attention. Not paying any attention to Waymond was a community pastime.

  The cowbell on the back of the door clanged loudly, and everyone looked to see who had come in.

  “Professor,” said Stuffy. He lifted a chair from the table behind him and spun it around. “Come have a seat over here. Brenda, get the professor a Moxie.”

  Harry dropped his bottle among the empties in the crate beside the counter. “Nickel, Brenda,” he said, holding out his hand. The bottle deposit was one of those unique economies necessitated by life on the island with its scarcity of disposal space. Harry hadn’t lost a nickel yet. Brenda was busy wiping off the grill. “Bergie said he puked when he found her.”

  “I don’t hardly wonder,” said Olaf.

  “Me neither,” said Bill.

  Winston Crisp was made from leftovers of Jimmy Stewart—lanky, soft-spoken, pale and milky around the eyes. Gold wire-rimmed spectacles conspired with a pleasant, forgettable face and stooped shoulders to give Crisp a bookish appearance. Hence the nickname “Professor,” which the locals had given him when he spent his first summer on the island as a boy of seven or so. They had called him that ever since. Now that Crisp had retired to the island, the nickname had thoroughly supplanted his Christian name even on his mail. Sometimes even Matty called him Professor, though she claimed to hate the name.

  Over the rims of his glasses, with eyebrows vaulted in a perpetual query, Crisp surveyed the world that always seemed to be running off without him. He sat down as he was told.

  Brenda circumnavigated Harry’s outstretched palm and handed the professor his Moxie. “Nickel, Brenda,” said Harry, shaking his open palm, eliciting a glare that put a severe strain on two or three of the more popular commandments.

  “We’re talkin’ about that body they found up to the quarry, Professor,” said Stuffy. “Some summer girl.”

  “Oh, yes,” said Crisp. “Matty said . . . she told me . . . while I was having my oatmeal. Terrible.”

  At that moment the cowbell clanged again. The door flew open and an agitated individual burst in and stopped dead in his tracks.

  “What’s wrong with you, Leeman?” said Olaf, by way of greeting.

  Most small towns have a town crier. On Penobscot Island it was Leeman Russell. He was the one who always managed to get to accident scenes before the blood dried. He could be counted upon to convey the unpleasant news to the rest of the citizenry in the most alarming manner possible—like the evening news. His eyes ransacked each face in the room. “They found out who it is!” he said.

  Brenda poured Leeman a coffee. This was going to be news worth a free drink.

  “It’s that girl who was up at the senator’s last summer,” said Leeman, lip deep in the ephemeral puddle of attention, “the one the FBI was out here lookin’ for last fall.”

  “The one they was tryin’ to keep so quiet about, you mean,” said Olaf.

  “How many others there been, Olaf?” Stuffy chided.

  When Harry finally closed his hand, he found a nickel in it. He went to the refrigerator and took out another Coke. “What’re you talkin’ about?” he said. “You talkin’ ’bout Senator McKenniston? What’s she got to do with him?”

  Stuffy shuffled the cards habitually. He w
as one of those people—not as rare on the islands of the Maine coast as elsewhere in the world—whom nothing surprised. The wrath of God could reduce everyone in the room to pocket lint or refrigerator magnets, and he wouldn’t bat an eye. He’d suck his lower lip a little and shuffle the cards. “McKenniston’s boy, Neddy,” he said. “He brought this girl up here last summer.”

  Harry could make a noise at the back of his throat that was the very embodiment of disgust. He made it twice now. “That boy . . . that boy was never nothin’ but trouble!” Big sip. “Always up to somethin’.”

  “That big outdoor weddin’ he had up by TipToe Mountain a couple’ve years ago don’t seem to have settled him down much, did it?” said Wendell.

  “They didn’t even invite anybody from the island,” Olaf recalled.

  “Walter Cronkite was there,” said Bill.

  “So was that opera lady,” Olaf said. “Isabelle . . . Elizabeth, somethin’. What was her name, Professor?”

  “Beverly Sills, I think you mean.”

  “I thought it was somethin’ like that,” said Olaf. “All them jet-setters.”

  “Not a clam digger in the bunch,” said Stuffy. The lobstermen laughed.

  “Ain’t hardly any clam diggers left in the jet set these days,” said Olaf dryly.

  Wendell was indignant. “Well, what was Neddy doin’ bringin’ a girl out here if he’s married?”

  “He never brought his wife here,” Olaf observed.

  “Nope,” said Bill. “Always left her in Massachusetts.”

  “That boy chases anything with skirts, I’d say. Got a different girl every time you see him.” Harry spat, seeming to forget he didn’t have any chewing tobacco. He nearly lost his dentures. “Prob’ly all over the girls who go to work up at the house.”

  “Like white on rice,” said Waymond, whose only ad-libs were things everyone had heard a few thousand times before.

  “Well, you know what happened to Sarah Quinn,” said Olaf.

  “She ain’t still workin’ up there, is she?” Wendell asked.

  “Who?” said Bill. “Sarah? Not since she had that baby, I shouldn’t think.”

  “She’d’ve had one, one way or the other anyway,” Harry observed with a draining pull on his Coke bottle.

  Olaf narrowed a critical eye. “What’s that s’posed to mean?”

  “Ragged Islanders,” said Harry, “and rabbits. They both start early with whoever’s handy. And if there ain’t fresh blood, well, there’s friends and family, and up there it’s one and the same, ain’t it?”

  “Oh, here we go,” said Olaf. “Everything you ever wanted to know about anything from someone who knows nothin’ ’bout everything.”

  Harry continued. “And when your brother’s your father and your uncle, like most of ’em, there prob’ly ain’t a Noble Prize in your future, if you know what I mean. Sarah Quinn’s a good example.”

  “Well, if the Nobel Prize was given out for foolishness,” Bill interjected contemptuously, “there wouldn’t be anyone between you and King Gustav when it come time to pick it up.”

  “Started work up there when she was fourteen or so,” said Stuffy, nudging the subject back on track.

  “That’s her old man’s doin’,” said Olaf. “I bet he drug ’er up there.”

  “That’s one thing you can say about Ragged Islanders, you know,” said Wendell. “They was always like that. Soon’s a kid’s old ’nough to make his way, out they go and make it.”

  “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that,” said Harry. “I was payin’ board when I was thirteen.”

  “That was over sixty years ago, Harry,” said Wendell. “Lotsa things changed in sixty years.”

  Harry scoffed. “Change don’t signify improvement.”

  “I don’t imagine life on Ragged Island did much to make her ready for young Ned,” said Olaf.

  “No denyin’ puberty hits some boys like a drug,” said Stuffy. He went into a long, animated stretch. “Anyway, that’s why you never read nothin’ about it in the papers when that girl run away.”

  “That’s why they had the FBI out here,” Leeman added.

  “Pays to be a senator, I guess,” said Stuffy.

  “I ’member thinkin’ that was some strange, though,” said Olaf. “There was all kinds’ve people saw her leave the island ’bout that time, ’member? Mostly Sanborn seen her get off the boat in Rockland. So did a couple’ve others. Becky Gable and Evelyn Swears was over doin’ shoppin’ that day—they seen her get off.”

  There was a dull murmur of consent.

  “And nobody saw her get back on?” Crisp asked.

  All heads shook.

  “That’s why I couldn’t figure out why the FBI come over here lookin’ for her,” said Olaf in summation.

  “Well, she musta got back out here someways,” Stuffy said. “ ’Cause she sure is here now.”

  “So, that’s the same girl,” Wendell sighed. “Well, that’s some awful.”

  There was a brief intermission during which everyone entertained his own thoughts. Crisp slowly rotated the Moxie bottle in his hands. “That was about Labor Day, as I recall, wasn’t it—when the FBI came out?”

  “Thereabouts,” said Stuffy.

  “It wasn’t more than two, three days after the Calderwood boys’ boat blew up, right?” Olaf recollected. “Remember them fellas thought she mighta been on board, since it happened just off McKenniston’s float. Not what you’d call startlin’ intelligence there.”

  “You don’t s’pose it likely she was out lobsterin’ with ’em?” said Harry, to a chorus of laughter.

  “Yessir, I bet that’s just what it was,” said Olaf. “I tell you, I can’t hardly beat them summer jerks off my boat with a stick.” Olaf waded into the spirit of things with his boots pulled up. “Now Senator, you get your hands outta that bait box! Princess Caroline, I told you to bring your own baitbags!” The good time being had by all was brought to an abrupt end by the epilogue. “ ’Course, all they ever found was Herbie and Andy—what was left of ’em.”

  “Just after Labor Day, you say?” said Crisp, listing toward the speaker with his good ear.

  “I said it was just two or three days after Herbert and Andy Calderwood’s boat blew up, Professor,” said Olaf, a little louder. “He’s deaf as a post,” he mumbled aside. “The boat blew up the day after Labor Day. Remember?”

  “Mmm.” Crisp nodded. “Oh, yes. Yes, I remember. But they found her frozen, you say—this girl?”

  “Like a fish dinner,” said Leeman. “I saw her when they pulled her out.”

  “You did?” said Crisp thoughtfully. He shuddered. “I shouldn’t like to have seen such a thing, myself.”

  “She didn’t have no clothes on, did she, Leeman?” said Waymond. “You could see everything, couldn’t you?”

  “She had a shirt on,” Leeman replied. “Just a sweatshirt or whatever you call it.” He looked embarrassed. “That’s all I could see.”

  “That ain’t what I heard,” said Waymond.

  Leeman didn’t appreciate having his reportorial integrity questioned. “Well, I was there, f’r pete’s sake. I guess I oughta know.”

  “A gruesome thought,” said Crisp. He looked at Leeman over his glasses. “Not a pleasant sight after all that time, I shouldn’t think.”

  “Oh, well, it wasn’t . . . I mean . . . it was just like she was asleep, except her eyes were open,” said Leeman. “She was funny colors in places. Her face looked strange, but—”

  “Asleep?” said Crisp. “You mean she wasn’t . . . that is to say . . . after all that time . . .”

  “She was froze, Professor,” said Olaf. “Bodies don’t rot if they’re froze.”

  “No,” Crisp replied softly. “No, of course they don’t. Not as fast anyway, I understand. But . . . when was the earliest hard freeze last year?”

  “Last of October?” Wendell said tentatively. “Early November, maybe?”

  “Not ’til the last week in No
vember,” said Stuffy unequivocally. “My nephew and nieces was out skatin’ just after Thanksgivin’.”

  “After Thanksgiving, yes. That’s what I thought,” Crisp said. “And there was even a thaw after that, seems I remember.”

  Stuffy corroborated Crisp’s recollection with expert testimony. “Yup.”

  “Good long spell, as I recall.”

  “Almost up to Christmas,” said Harry. “I hate it when it don’t snow for Christmas. Ever since I was a kid, I hated when it didn’t snow for Christmas. All we got was rain last year, right up ’til the day or two ’fore—then the weather turned.”

  “Mmm,” said Crisp and massaged his forehead with two fingers. “Then that’s a problem, isn’t it?”

  “Why?” said Olaf.

  “Well,” said Crisp, leaning over his Moxie and speaking so low that everyone had to gather around to hear, which, with the exception of Stuffy, they did. “If the girl drowned just after Labor Day, as you suppose, and she couldn’t have frozen ’til after Thanksgiving, what happened to the body in the meantime? Assuming she was dead in the interim, that is.”

  “Professor’s right,” said Stuffy with a wry smile. “A body don’t stay very fresh settin’ out for two and a half months.”

  Curiosity rested a foot in the furrows of Olaf’s forehead. “And it woulda been worse floatin’ in the quarry the whole time,” he said.

  “That’s right,” said Bill. “Remember Benny Howell? They found him not more’n a few days after his boat capsized. He was blue as a moose’s balls and half the size of a whale.”

  There was a murmur of agreement. “ ’Course, that was salt water, that was,” said Wendell.

  Crisp cleared his throat and everyone fell silent. “But you say she was not . . . that is, she was . . .”

  “Like she was asleep,” said Leeman. “She even had makeup on.”

  “Makeup?” said Crisp, and reflected a moment. “Makeup, you say?”

  Leeman nodded. “That’s what Chuckie said. Prob’ly why she looked funny.”

  “Well, my, my,” Crisp said to his reflection in the cigar cabinet. “Imagine that.” He looked at Leeman. “I don’t suppose any mention was made of how she died.”